Creating Space

This summer I decided to kick off the 75th anniversary of the park with a trip to the Chimneys. I'd never been there before. Each month I go on a 24 hour silent retreat with other clergy guys in Knoxville and those trips to a Maggie Valley retreat center were suspended for the summer. I really like them and while it may seem strange if you have never practiced silence as a spiritual discipline, I have found they really create space for God to show up. I decided to go alone to spend a night at Elkmont and hike the Chimneys.
Sweet mother of Horace Kephart, that is a trail that just never seems to stop going up! I mean you go around a bend thinking "okay, this has got to be getting close" and then you see what to my fatigued brain looks like another 2 miles of straight up. Now keep in mind that I have taken a self-imposed vow of silence for 24 hours. Not a problem in camp alone, but I like to be a friendly guy on the trail. I keep passing folks and find that I am stretching to find ways of communicating friendliness to other hikers. That in itself was exactly the kind of thing I like about creating new space, but it was a challenge. I found that giving my Davy Crockett grin was the best I could do. As I was close to gasping for breath with every step anyway, I imagine folks thought I was too tuckered out to speak (which was true). I finally reached the top and climbed to about 40 yards of the summit and that was it.I looked at the last stretch and thought getting up the rock face was doable, but getting down was another matter. I was alone too, so who would know where to hunt for my mangled body? Plus I would surely scream as I fell and that would break my vow of silence. A conundrum to be sure. I stared at the last 40 yards and was reminded of the episode of Bonanza where Little Joe was tracking the mountain lion and lost his gun on a mountain top and was frozen with fear, you know the one I'm talking about. He gets down but has to explain to everyone where his rifle is, but he doesn't want to tell about being afraid of heights. That's what i'm thinking as I'm frozen there inching up that rock. What can I say, I'm an only child and I watched a lot of tv as a kid. So I bag it, deciding that today this is as far as I'm going. On the way down I meet a nice couple coming up. They look inquisitive and friendly. "Here we go again, big grin, out of breath, smile and nod." Young man says "been to the top?" I shake my head no. 'Will you take a picture of us?" I make a gesture that I can't speak and they begin to look at me with sympathy. I take the picture grinning away and hand back the camera. That's when they make some kind of sign gestures and ask if that means "thank you". They think I'm deaf. At this point I break my vow , whispering, "I don't know, I just can't talk." Now they're embarrassed and probably thinking I have a bad case of laryngitis. Perhaps I'll get a card that says "I'm an anglican priest who has taken a vow of silence.

SECOND TRIP- FATHER/DAUGHTER HIKE
A week later I took a day to spend with my daughter and one of her friends came too. We set up camp at Elkmont and headed fro the Chimneys. "Okay Little Joe if you can do it, so can I." To the top full speed ahead! The hike has the same effect on them. They are 15 and I'm 48, I figured they would have boundless energy, but not so. This 2 mile hike is a kicker, but I know the payoff is at the end. My daughter is not a camper, nor a hiker, and it took a threat to stop paying her cell phone bill to get her there, but I knew that it could be great. I just don't want to look back in 10 years and not have tried this with my girls. I take UT students every month and they love it, but I really want to share what is out there with my kids. When they got to the top, and it is like being on top of the world, they were amazed. My daughter then gave me the best fathers' day present ever, when she said "thanks for bringing us here dad."
That's when I wanted to go for the top,but she said flat out, if I did this would be our last trip. She doesn't like heights. A storm was coming across the mountains and so retreat seemed the better part of valor. As we got to the base of the rocks it hit and we were soaked to the bone by the time we reached the car, but even that didn't dampen the experience. We'd had an adventure and so it was back to camp for dinner, fireflies and smores.

THIRD TRIP'S A CHARM-FATHER/SON HIKE
I've just returned from my third trip to the Chimney's. This time with my 10 year old son. Camp is set up at Elkmont and back to the Chimney's. Little Joe took 3 times to conquer his mountain too on Bonanza. "Is this going to be hard?, how much further?, How many more minutes?, I'm tired, can we stop?" And so it went. This would not be a silent retreat. I knew that if he would just trust me through 2 miles of straight up, he'd be a different kid. We got to the ridge, you know, the part that looks like it was in the Lord of the Rings with the roots of the tree spreading all over the ground, and then he saw it. We messed around for awhile as I let go of my own fears for him and saw this as one of those moments when a boy steps out and I needed to let him. It comes in different ways at different times, kids are different, but I thought this was his time. He was willing and the odd thing was, so was I. I caught myself starting to tell him to stay put while I did something that I out of reflex I didn't want him to risk. I stopped and I think we both matured a little right then. We made our way to the summit, and looked down the Chimney's big cracks, the hole that I assume is part of the reason they're called the Chimney's. All of the complaints going up were forgotten, in fat he even said it was worth it all. You have to keep in mind, his only other hikes have been Laurel Falls and Kephart Prong trails. I loved the look on his face at the top.
I have one more child to go. My 16 year old daughter has yet to see the top of the Chimney's and soon I hope, we'll create the space for the experience. New driver's license and new job will crowd her schedule, but I still pay the cell phone bill.

If you don't keep a journal of your mountain adventures with your family, I highly encourage you to start. He watched me writing about our day and asked if he could keep one too. Mine reads like this blog more or less, with time and temp thrown in and one day, after I've made my last hike, I bet it will be pulled out and read around the campfire to grandchildren. But that's a little more space than I am ready to create right now.

Mt. LeConte Lodge Overnight

I don't have any folksy stories to relate today, just wanted to record my first trip overnight at the lodge. It was supposed to be good weather going up Friday, but the cold and rain stayed around and we made a foggy hike up Alum Cave trail and on to the Lodge. I like the fog about as much as I like the clear days. That's what makes them the Smokies after all. It was in the 40's when we left about 2:15 and we arrived at Mt. Leconte at 5pm. We had an hour to rest before dinner. I was with a group of about 10 guys and we stayed in one of the larger cabins. I was surprised how comfortable and warm it was. The food is GREAT, and the staff too. Last night we sat around the lodge, which was filled with folks from all over. Some folks played cards others talked, while some of sat and sang all the bluegrass songs we could remember. There were some folks from Alabama that even sang along on Rocky Top! We had a great night. Someone said it dropped down to 17 degrees during the night but it was warm in the cabin. This morning I got up about 8 and hiked up to the cliff tops. I was bummed because my camera batteries were dead and I'd have no record of the trip. When I went to look at the t-shirts they sell I found batteries! Now I could climb up the .02 to Cliff Tops and take some shots. The frost covered the trees up there and the view was great.

The hike down started us on a treacherously icy trail. We passed loads of folks heading up and as the weather warmed we started shucking the coats and polar fleece. It was 43 when we left the top. It took a little longer getting down with the ice but it was a beautiful hike.

I have never stayed up there before, I had done a day-hike 10 years ago, but this was an amazing trip. I went with some guys who are in CLC groups in Knoxville, which is a men's 2 year bible study, and they had an extra spot open up so I jumped on. I am so glad I did.

Best Trip Yet...and the scariest 10 minutes of my life yet too.

I just got home from taking my boy on our first backpacking trip to the Smokies. I go about once a month, usually to Kephart shleter, with UT students (I do campus ministry) because you can get there after classes let out and get set up before it gets dark, but this was my 10 year old's first overnighter with me. He's heard me talk, seen the pictures, made some day hikes, but this was the first time into the woods overnight.
When I was his age I was too busy screaming to get my folks to take me to the Rebel Corner or the knife shop in Gatlinburg, to enjoy the actual mountains. How could you stand and stare at a view from Newfound Gap when there's a giant alligator waiting at the putt-putt, or a real bear in a cage in Pigeon Forge to see? Camp out?... and miss 10 minutes at Hillbilly Village or Gold Rush Junction? I am so glad to report that something must have skipped in our genetic code because he actually loved the mountains. He kept stopping at the water rushing in the creek, looking at the huge trees uprooted along the trail, the railroad ties and old parts scattered along the CCC site. "Dad look at this!" Have you ever seen a rock like this? No? Well what if we found gold? And so it went. We arrived at the shelter after an hour's walk and found about six guys from Ga. Southern on spring break in the mountains. They were the nicest, most polite shelter mates you could ask for. Way to go guys.
Ben went straight to the creek and the adventures were on, but after about 20 minutes he was out on a pad sleeping in the sun.
We relaxed and my buddy read the kids some of the trail lore from the "brown book". I pulled out my trail journal and read a few entries that began 10 years ago with my first trip with this very same friend who got me started in the Smokies. We had taken some guys from my high school youth group in FL. to... yep, Kephart shelter.
More creek playing and then some wood gathering. Ben thought it might be time to get the orange shovel and take care of some business, but...... hey it was his first trip, and there were people within 2 miles.
I wanted to let Ben make a fire using the swedish firestarter and dryer lint to catch the spark. he goes at it forever and the stuff will not catch. I saw this happen to Bear Grylls once but after the commercial he ahd a fire going. Finally he hands it to me because his hands are tired. He was really squeezing that little piece of steel. It takes me awhile to get it going too, and I determine that tomorrow he gets another shot no matter how long it takes. I want him to have that sense of accomplishment and the story to tell. I mean what is cooler than starting a fire without matches?
We got the Mountain House meals going and the Chilli Mac was, if I may say, superb. The broken flip flop in the shelter would probably be superb if it were prepared right (with bacon) because doesn't food just taste great in the mountains? After dark it was marshmellows on a stick, which is always a hit and a cup of instant Maxwell House. I have got to get a titanium coffee press. The stars were brilliant and the weather was perfect. The kids bedded down by 9, as did the college guys, who ....just went to sleep. No goofy jokes, or endless talking until 2am. They must have been tired because they were out. David and I sat by the fire and talked about God, life, our kids and wives, what it means to live into those things and about 11 that was it for us too. A truly great day.

This morning we eat, and Ben gets another crack at the fire starter. I'm nervous like it's bottom of the ninth and he's staring at a 3-2 pitch, but I know he can do it. I walk off and let him have at it without an audience. Man, he is still going at it, so as I wander back the spark catches, (note to self: get fresher dryer-lint) and he's made his first fire. We pack up and the college guys have hit the trail. It has been a great trip. Ben even swept the shelter without being asked (why didn't I take a picture of that?) . We stack some wood for the next folks, paying it forward, and each of us said a thank you prayer for our time together. I'm checking my gear and Ben asks to head down to the creek one more time. I thought I said no, but got distracted. I actually didn't mind him going, but I didn't want him getting his feet wet before we walked out. I see him bound down the trail to the creek and we load our gear on.

The Scariest 10 minutes of My Life (so far)

We head about 20 yards down the trail, and stop too yell at him to get a move on. The creek is loud and so I yell louder. Nothing. I get a little steamed, thinking it would be nice if he would listen to me in front of my friend, because his kids are right there ready to go (it's all about me you know). I get to the creek and there is no sign of my boy. I can see up and downthe creek, I am shouting now, because I remember he was wearing that pack and he likes to jump on the rocks. My buddy comes down and his look of concern jacks up my concern. We're shucking our packs and now I am in the middle of the creek on a rock, but my foot shoots off a rock like it has ice on it, and that's when it hits me. If that happened to him with that pack on his back...., well even writing this gets my heart racing all over again. He could have gotten on the other side and wandered off, but I see nothing and and I am REALLY shouting now. Still no answer. How can we go from the best trip ever to this? I mean it is just as if I had blinked and awakened in another reality. As I scrambled back onto the bank I shoot up "please God, give me my son" and the girls on the trail yell "Here he is". (it doesn't always work like that, but still..)

Daniel Boone had taken to the trail a little ahead of us, and upon hearing me shout, had plodded back. God gets a huge thank you, and Ben gets squeezed until an eye bugs out. I am just too happy to be mad. He was doing what a boy does, and while that isn't always the best thing, sometimes not the right thing, it is understandable. It is a teaching moment. For both of us.

It again becomes the best trip ever, and nothing I could say would probably make him understand the flood of emotions I had just experienced. He was having a great time, thinking we were right behind him while he was blazing the trail. I guess this is what my folks missed out on while I was at the Rebel Corner and Hillbilly Village.

As we walk out he asks me "When can we come back?" I start to say after the doctor clears me, but figure the humor would go over his head. "Very soon son, very soon.".